Monthly Archives: November 2011

Guns, knives, and 13-year-old boys

A long time ago, I read a book by Jared Diamond called Guns, Germs, and Steel. It was a book about how civilizations end — by war, by disease, or by innovation, like the train. I was reading this book one … Continue reading

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Fried kitten

The other day, I was making toasted cheese sandwiches on a griddle on the stove. I turned off the stove but left the griddle on the burner — I learned the hard way that I have to keep the cats … Continue reading

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Book Review: Halo by Alexandra Adornetto

Halo By Alexandra Adornetto From us.macmillan.com/halo: “Three angels are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness: Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human. They work hard … Continue reading

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The Friday Rant: Black Friday

I’ve never done a Black Friday shop before. I have this crazy SIL who is waiting in line in a tent at 3:00 a.m. outside of Target most Black Fridays, which I think is crazy. Then again, she got a … Continue reading

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My medical fantasy

Here’s a letter I fantasize about receiving from my insurance company: Dear Mrs. Carter: It has come to our attention that you have a giant fat butt. Recent studies show that this condition is extremely dangerous to both your health … Continue reading

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What does it take to feed a marine?

Marines eat a lot. Partly because they’re busy running from terrorists and carrying big guns. Plus they have to carry everything they own in a duffle bag, which is a lot of weight. They’re also usually nineteen or twenty years old, … Continue reading

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The Friday Rant: Road blocks

Have you ever wondered where stories like the Odyssey came from? I think it was road blocks. Except he was in a boat. Still, there was the whirlpool, the sirens, the witch … Basically watery road blocks. And that guy … Continue reading

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Housewives of Bev Hills update

Apparently I am now watching Housewives of Beverly Hills. How does this happen? One day you hate the show, and the next you’re watching it. I’m watching it because I hate it, which is so weird. This Taylor chick. What the … Continue reading

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Update 2: My bangs

I’ve reached the magic bang length! They are going sideways on their own, and staying there with a minimum of hair spray. I made it! I survived bang withdrawal! I need one of those little key chains you get at … Continue reading

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My cat is peeing in my plant

My plants take a beating. Cleo the horrible kitten likes to sleep in them. This smashes them to smithereens. And I’m not great about watering them. Or feeding them. But Kiki is doing one better: She’s peeing in the plants. … Continue reading

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