The leaning Christmas tree

I knew this Christmas was going to be tough, because we have a kitten, and she is horrible, and now there’s this big tree in the house for her to climb. I’m sure she thinks we put it there just for her. I also knew Christmas would be a pain because of this old tree. It’s a pre-lit tree, which now means it was previously lit and now it’s completely dark. Nothing works on it, so I have to string lights on my pre-lit tree. As I was doing this, a paw suddenly snaked out and slashed me! I didn’t even know Cleo was in the tree. So I circled around the tree with the lights and beads, and she slashed me and bit the beads and fought me for everything. She was ranging all the way to the top of the tree. Oddly enough, when I turned the lights on, she stopped climbing. She stays pretty much in the bottom boughs of the tree.

Then I put the ornaments on. She especially loves the shiny glass ones. Apparently their round shape makes them perfect to smack around, tackle, yank off the tree, and wrestle to the ground. I had to move an angel ornament with a long, feathered skirt to the top of the tree — kitten was mauling her, and I was concerned we might all go to Hell. I would think mauling angels is frowned upon in certain circles.

So that’s all bad enough. Then, my FRIGIDAIRE dish washer — yeah, I said FRIGIDAIRE, which stands for “don’t buy this crap product” — decided to go crazy and over-heat, melting all of my plastic-ware. This dishwasher is only two years old, but of course it’s out of warranty. After much bitching and being put on hold, they finally offered to pay for the parts and leave me responsible for the labor. Which will be four times as much. DON’T BUY FRIGIDAIRE!!!

Then my husband decided to fix the rear defrost on my van. He got a kit at the parts store and followed the directions perfectly. I drove Kiki back to the vet, and as I turned off the engine, the back window exploded. A guy was walking through the parking lot about ten feet away, and he took off running. I think he thought I was being shot at. I was pretty calm, but then, this is the SECOND TIME this has happened. The first time, I was driving down a road, flicked on rear-defrost, and the window exploded. I thought we were being shot at and yelled at the kids, “Get down! Get your heads down!” then drove like a crazy woman before I realized what had happened.

So this Christmas is looking pretty expensive.

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About alisaacarter

I am a writer of young adult novels, wife, mom of three, lover of animals, former magazine editor, reader of anything paranormal, and coffee fanatic.
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