The Friday Rant: Hillary Clinton is a genius

Here’s what I imagine happened after the blowup in Benghazi, Libya:

(phone rings)

Hillary Clinton: Hello?

Barack Obama: Hillary, we need your help on this Benghazi thing. We need someone to go on the major Sunday news shows and explain what happened. As Secretary of State, you’re the logical person. I’m sending you your talking points now.

Hillary Clinton: Okay, got it. (Sound of mouse clicking) Wait a second, this says I’m going to claim it was a spontaneous demonstration gone wrong. But we watched it happen from the drone cam; there was no demonstration.

Barack Obama: That’s our story and we’re sticking to it.

Hillary Clinton: But that’s not what happened.

Barack Obama: Listen, Joe’s been running around with that “GM is alive and Bin Laden is dead” line all week. I wish he’d cut the crap, but I can’t control the guy.

Hillary Clinton: Well, you had another choice for vice president…

Barack Obama: Yeah, yeah, woulda, shoulda, coulda. Anyway, after all his hot air, it would look really bad for us if we have to say al-Qaeda isn’t decimated after all. People might even say it’s retaliation for Joe’s big mouth.

Hillary Clinton: But no one’s going to believe it. It was the anniversary of 9/11, for Christ’s sake!

Barack Obama: All we need is a couple more weeks.

Hillary Clinton: Why can’t we just say we’re still looking into it? We can take our time with the investigation and tell the country what really happened after the election.

Barack Obama: That’s not going to work. We need to just put this thing to bed and hope Fox doesn’t figure it out. I’m pretty sure CNN and MSNBC will take our word for it.

Hillary Clinton: You’re asking me to flat out lie to the American people. You do remember I’ll be running for election myself in four years, right?

Barack Obama: Hillary, we need you to take one for the team here.

Hillary Clinton: Take one for the team! You think I haven’t taken one for the team already?

Barack Obama: We need you to think of your party …

Hillary Clinton: (yells) Bill! You won’t believe what they’re asking us to do now … (click)

WH telephone operator: Yes, sir, can I help you?

Barack Obama: I need the phone number for a Susan Rice …


Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, you have to admit, every day Hillary Clinton just looks smarter.

About alisaacarter

I am a writer of young adult novels, wife, mom of three, lover of animals, former magazine editor, reader of anything paranormal, and coffee fanatic.
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