The Friday Rant: Mary, Mary

I’ve always liked the contrarians, and I’ve grown to be a lot like little Mary (when I was young, I thought the curds and whey were a punishment for not doing what she was told).

One thing that makes me contrary are all of the “like” requests on Facebook. “Like if you love your mother; ignore if you hope she goes to hell.” (Okay, I made that up.) “Like if you support cancer patients; ignore if you have no heart.” I’m sorry, but I won’t do it. Even if I love my mother and support cancer research, I simply won’t be guilted into doing something that is, let’s be real, pretty damn pointless. If I really love my mother, I’ll call her and tell her. If I really support cancer patients, I’ll donate to the American Cancer Foundation.

The ones that say, “like to show me you care” — those are a little trickier. I mean, if I do care, I want to let you know, but some people send a million of those things. I’ll like those, but it seems kind of needy, don’t you think? Couldn’t we just go out to lunch?

My son complains about the “like” whores on facebook — “like if my haircut looks good; ignore if you think I’m ugly.” That’s some serious emotional extortion!

I get very contrary when it comes to fads and music. If I like a band and then they get really popular, I feel a little embarrassed listening to them. It seems like I’m just following the madding crowd. I have to resist the urge to yell, “I saw them first!” (I’ll bet you can tell what a pain I was growing up.) Same thing with movies and books and fashions. I won’t read the 50 Shades books, partly because it just seems stupid (people sure spend a lot of time complicating something that’s already pretty awesome, as far as I’m concerned), but mostly because everyone is reading them, and therefore I cannot.

And advertising! As you might have noticed, I hate advertising. I take it as a personal attack on my pocketbook. I watch ads with a narrowed eye, because I’m sure they are willing to lie to me to get my money. Maybe they’re just trying to help me find something I really need; maybe not.

But one thing I draw the line on is allowing an advertiser to use my body as a free billboard. Do not scrawl your company name across a purse or T-shirt if you want me to buy, and especially do not try to sell me something that puts your name across my butt. That is a large, prime real estate. You could get some serious messaging going on there. Anyone who advertises there will be paying me, not the other way around.

About alisaacarter

I am a writer of young adult novels, wife, mom of three, lover of animals, former magazine editor, reader of anything paranormal, and coffee fanatic.
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