Today I was making my bed and Cleo the Horrible Kitten suddenly leapt on my hand, claws extended. Then she disappeared, leaving me bloodied, heart pounding. I didn’t even see her!
As I walked down the stairs in the dark, I saw a flash of white between my feet and teetered on the edge of the stair, pinwheeling my arms. Boo likes to hide in the dark at the top of the stairs, and as you start down, he races between your feet, almost sending you plummeting to the bottom. Maybe it’s an accident. Maybe not, given that it happens almost every day.
Later, I was cleaning the toilet — so my day was already sucking — and I noticed the shower curtain sway. It felt like a distinctly Psycho moment. I carefully peeked into the space between the cloth shower curtain, which hangs on the outside of the tub, and the clear plastic liner, which hangs inside the tub, and lurking on the tub edge in that little space was Cleo, her eyes dilated, claws extended. I clapped the curtains together and ran.
Sometimes the cats seem like ninjas. When Boo and Cleo fight, they get low to the ground and move very slowly, uncoiling a fraction of an inch at a time, slowly raising a paw, and then one leaps into the air. The other springs aside, and they freeze again, shifting ever so slowly, rising slowly onto their back legs.
Thank God they only have claws. If they had tiny little samurai swords, they would surely take over the world.