Have you ever thought your pet really loved you only to discover it was never about you? When a snake wraps itself around you, is it because the snake loves you, or you’re warm? When your dog licks you, is it because he loves you, or you’ve been sweating and you’re salty? When your cat lies in your lap, is it because she loves you, or your fat thighs are more cushy than the couch?
Tonight I was holding the dog, and she started nuzzling in my hair. Awww, how sweet. And then she started chewing my hair. Turns out it wasn’t love. I just had Chinese food in my hair.