Dear scaredy-car drivers on I470:
Look, it’s just a stalled truck. I realize it’s a big semi, which is mildly interesting, but it’s all the way over on the shoulder like it should be. So why are we all slowing down to a snail’s pace to stare at it? I mean, it’s not on fire. The driver is not hanging out the window, trapped and screaming and burning to death. Sure, I’d slow down for that. Nope, it’s just a stalled vehicle with a guy under the front end, looking up into the innards as if he has any damn idea what it’s supposed to look like.
And once we get past the semi, why don’t we then speed back up? Why do we continue to drive five miles below the speed limit, like we’ve been so badly frightened that we’re feeling extra cautious?
It’s okay, scaredy-car drivers. The scary non-burning semi is all gone. Push your foot down on that little black pedal to the right.